33%

I am finally posting something other than a survey!

I am so tired of this routine where I wake up tired, drive through traffic for an hour all tired, then start work tired, then feel alert at around 2-3pm then feel tired again, then feel tired on the drive back home from work (which is another hour).  Once I am home, Yoona greets me for second then runs outside to do her business.  I always pray it isn't a big one because I am never in the mood to clean up after her.  Then I get to lay in my futon for 30 minutes before my mom begins to tell me the list of things that need to be done in the house.  I try to act sick or hurt so she would feel bad for me but, I think everyone in my house just feels bad for themselves (me included).  My mom is a widow, my sis is an orphan and I am the insensitive son/brother who cannot find the energy to do anything for his family.

I have so much to talk about!  Its mostly about how annoyed I am but, I guess I should hold back on that.  I am sure none of the readers want to read that....

I don't understand how adults manage to find time to do what they do.  Working 5 days just drains me from doing anything productive outside of work.  Once I get home, there is so much yardwork to be done.  Yardwork that never ends.  And there is 집회준비 stuff, 가족숭배준비 할껏, and personal study.  I don't even have a show that I watch regularly now and I still don't seem to have time for anything.  When elders talk about how drama watching consumes too much time, I scoff.  That is a thing of the past for me.  I really look at my schedule and I do not know where my time is going off to.  I don't watch shows or dramas, I don't workout, I don't read books, I don't have any particular hobbies, I don't do... anything....

Living with two women is not easy.  I understand that women are known to be the "weaker vessel" but, that just means men are "weak vessels" and not "strong vessels."  Men are weak too.  I wish all women would understand that.  Do they really think we block out all thoughts and that we do not have problems to deal with?  Being the man of the house is not easy and I am always hoping that it will get better.  I do not see how things could get worse.  I was so encouraged by reading the Bible about Joshua a few weeks back but, that encouragement seems to be fading already.  I guess that is why a meaningful daily Bible reading is essential.

I have been calculating where my time is being spent because I never seem to find time to complete all the tasks that are given to me.  If I split the big chunks it comes down to this:

• Work(and work related things.. such as driving to work): 33% (55 hours)
• Sleep(if I were to sleep 8 hours a day.. which never happens): 33% (55 hours)
• Other(this is the time I need to break down): 33% (55 hours)

*Time is split in percentages for a 7 day week (168 hours)

So if I break down the "other" category of my time it comes down to this:

• 봉사 (and related things): 14% (8 hours)
• Movie watching: 5% (3 hours)
• Showering/Dumping: 3% (2 hours)
• 가족숭배 and related things): 7% (4 hours)
• 집회 (and related things): 10% (6 hours)
• Hanging out with friends (and related things): 40% (22 hours)
• Others: 18% (10 hours)

*Time is split in percentages for the 33% "other" category (55 hours)

When looking at my time like this, it seems like I have a lot but I do not get why I cannot get all my tasks done.  The 10 hours of "Others" falls is doing chores for my mom, cleaning my room, drinking alone, and/or having to do the hall accounting work once a week.  I guess the biggest chunk of my time that I need to fix is time spent with friends.  A lot of my time is spent looking at my kakaotalk/story or texts or driving to go play or eat dinner or drink.  If I cut that to 12 I think it would make a huge difference.  Easier said than done ey?  I guess if I just take that leap and spend more time reading the Bible and meditating.. things would get better.  If I cannot sacrifice time spent drinking with friends, how would I ever help out a place where the need is greater? 

Well, I'm going to talk about this stuff with Eugene next week.  He is such a good listener and I love hearing his fun problems with life.  He asked me out on a date.  He needs to practice somewhere right?  I will let him practice on me since I am such a good hyung.  I have definitely been talking to Eugene more than I used to.  I am trying to get some of his pioneer spirit and get a taste of his illumination from God but, I think he is just depressed.  He misses his peers in pio school too much.  He won't admit it but I think he cries at night while looking at the pioneer school picture. 

Well that was a good hour spent at work.  I looked like I was writing an important email.

Sorry for having such a long, cluttered, and "bleh" post.  I will try to post a more positive and organized entry next time.  Bye!