Joy?

Being constantly at a state of bliss or always smiling does not equal happiness. As we all (or at least 7million of us) know, God is the source of happiness. Without knowing Him we can never truly be happy. We tend to think that a person looks happy when they giggle or smile. When someone has "succeeded" in life, they seem happy. But we know how meaningless their lives are. Smiling... sure it brings out good hormones that actually might make you happy for a little bit but, its not fail proof or everlasting.
The scary part about all this is that God's people are happy because they serve a happy God. But why is it that I don't feel happy? I feel unhappy almost 90% of the time... but then again I think I'm thinking of my past too much. Back in my college years I really had everything under control. I had a part time job, went to school and kept my hope scholarship, and reg pioneered... when I think of myself back then... I actually did feel happy and content. Of course there was always room to be better but, I actually felt like I was trying hard to do by best.  (And yes.. I know... I should stop dwelling in the past)
I guess I just found the solution to my problem. I'm not trying hard enough... I guess its true. Having a full time job sucks a lot out of you. Even if the workload is not too much, just the fact that I have to sit here from 8-6 (maybe even longer) sucks hairy balls. Plus there is traffic that I have to fight through everyday. I'm sure I lost about 15 years of my life from the stress related with work. I really need a job that doesn't demand me to focus on it too much. It feels as though Koreans have their priorities all messed up (hence their escalated divorce rate). They always put work/money first and I hate it.
Anyway... I really need to stop being lazy about reading the Bible. I hear its a very good book..
Well.. I'm done dumping so I should just end it here. (Yes I wrote this via my droid razr maxx in the bathroom while taking a #2).
Bye!