weak

I am beginning to realize how weak I am.  Not just physically but mentally and emotionally.  I was hungry last night (@ 1AM) and I didn't want to eat (because I don't want to get any fatter) so instead I had a beer.  I reassured myself that it was okay because it was light beer.  But one beer was not enough to fill in the void of hunger so I had another.  The beer made me cold (because the beer cold) and I wanted something warm to drink.  So I went down and made myself 계란국 and started eating it and realized I need something harder to chew so I started to have some CHEEZITS.  They were the good kind.  Whole grain with 5g of fiber per serving! This also reassured myself.  So as I started to empty the whole box of cheezits I felt like having soju.. but I have no soju so I had vodka.  I told myself to drink in moderation.  I only had 4 shots (give self pat in the back****).  I woke up at 7:30... so late for work... I feel horrible.

The moral to this is... your heart and mind can be changed easily... just from being hungry.

This has got to be my last crappy and depressing post....  The next time I post... I will say something good that has happened in my life.

I gotta pee...